Here's some stuff that seems to fit her. This is from my book that's being written. Its coming along nicely
Chapter 3
The sun rises as I wake from my morning slumber on a crisp and cold Wednesday morning. I climb out of bed, raise my arms, and peek out the window to greet the early birds that can’t find worms. My morning schedule resembles a blank slate, so I seize the opportunity for a work-out. Shorts over boxers, sweatpants over shorts, t shirt on, ankle brace applied, hoody to top me off and I’m ready to rumble. I notice a layer of ice stuck to my windshield. That’s not gonna work. Engine on, defog on blast, ice scraper located, attack windshield program initiated. And I’m off.
I make it to Planet Fitness in Eatontown in Monmouth Mall shortly after 7am. It’s a 24 hour gym which suits my needs perfectly. I made a goal recently to lose 30 pounds in 6 weeks. When you become fully conscious, you realize that you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Or, you realize that’s what you’ve always been doing. I lost 18 pounds over the last 3 weeks, and plan to lose another 12 before my trip to Portland next month. Goals like this provide my life with structure. They give me a context within which to function and the opportunity to explain certain dynamics. Many people struggle with weight gain and the desire to look a certain way; yet so many feel powerless to do anything about it. The issue is always the split mind, which can manifest as the desire to go on a diet and cheat on that diet at the same time. With a slight alteration to my eating habits in addition to an increase in physical activity, writing a program to get to an ideal weight isn’t a very difficult thing. Becoming conscious of the forces which prevent programs from functioning is equally simple, if the courage and willingness is present to do so.
I make my entrance through a pair of automatic doors and down an escalator into the basement of Monmouth Mall. Yes, that’s right, I go to the gym in a basement at the mall. There’s a row of 50 treadmills and there’s only 3 people on them. There’s two fat people walking and one athlete going for it. The presence of all three of these people inspires me. I think overweight people often come to the gym with the preconceived notion that others are judging them. From what I understand, this couldn’t be farther from the truth…
(I’m reading what I wrote out loud to my friend Sarah via skype, she stops me.)
“Hey wait, you can’t just say that. You can’t just call people fat like that, that hurts people’s feelings.”
“Really? Well, I’m not calling anyone in particular fat; I’m just saying there were two fat people at the gym. What are the odds of them reading this and realizing I was talking about them? Although I spose stranger things have happened.”
“No, I mean the reader is going to think you’re calling them fat.”
“I don’t think you’re fat, I think you’re hot.”
“Not me dummy. Do I have to spell it out for you?”
“That would save time.”
“People are sensitive about their weight, especially certain overweight people. Calling two people you saw fat is likely to trigger a reaction from them.”
“I’m listening.”
“And then they’re not going to listen to what you’re saying. They’ll stop reading and say bad things about your book.”
“Also interesting. In this little scenario of yours, did the fat person already buy my book?”
I’m wondering whether I should have not referred to the reader as a fat person this time. Oops, too late now.
“Oh, well, yes I guess so.”
“Oh sweet. In that case… “
I take a deep breath, there’s a rant coming.
“…hey, being fat isn’t such a bad rap. I dabbled in it myself for a little while, more than once. You get to eat whatever you want, sit on your ass all day, and in extreme cases, you even get your own parking space. Only in America baby. I’m not implying that there’s anything wrong with being fat, but that there is something wrong if you’re fat and you think you shouldn’t be. It’s not my job to walk on eggshells to avoid hurting the feelings of someone who wants to do something but doesn’t because they’re scared to feel a certain way. What would you prefer I say, big boned, husky? Are these really any better? How bout bloobablards? I’m conscious that these words are buttons for people, but my job isn’t to avoid hitting buttons. If anything it’s the opposite. My job is to push buttons so reactions can happen so the energy which drives them can be made conscious and resolved. Now obviously, I don’t go around calling people fat or giving diet advice. This book isn’t written for fat people who want to lose weight, it’s being written for Truth and those courageous enough to cannon ball down the rabbit hole. That might mean someone losing weight, it might mean gaining weight. It might mean nothing. It all depends on the structure of the conditioning, which is unique in all cases across the board.”
I contemplate rewriting the intro to chapter 3 by referring to the treadmillers as ‘unique little snowflakes’, but include this conversation instead.
“Oh well, ok, if that’s what you’re going for. I just hope that people don’t shoot the messenger.”
“Let them shoot. I don’t write for people who want to stay in denial about their own nonsense. There’s plenty of other writers and teachers that cater to that sort of trash, and Homee don’t play dat. May I continue with my treadmill story?”
“Yes, sure, sorry.”
“Ok, where was I? Ah, yes. I make my way to the first treadmill in the row. I do my stretches and start galloping. I only run for 30 minutes and things go off without a hitch until minute 25.”
“Hey wait. What happened in the first 25 minutes? Don’t you think people want to know about how you made it through the first 25 minutes.”
“Welp, I start running and then I don’t stop until I reach the desired goal. What am I missing?”
“Maybe you could give some pointers on how you do it?”
“It’s really not that complicated. I get on the treadmill, and then I run. When I first started I wasn’t doing 30 minutes. I started at 15, then 20, then 25, got up to 35, but have since calculated that 30 minute runs suit my needs perfectly.”
“What are your needs?”
“Grrr. Welp, I’m programmed to desire to be at my ideal weight when I come to Oregon.”
“Why?”
I suddenly feel like I’m trying to explain why the sky is blue to a 5 year old.
“The short answer, because of everything that’s ever happened. The long answer: I know my ideal weight because I spent 90 percent of my adult life at that weight. So, there’s a pre programmed preference and a spontaneous movement toward that preference. I call it a need only because I know I’m gonna get to that weight before I come to Oregon.”
“But how do you know that?”
“Ok I don’t know that. It is possible that some random sequence of events could prevent me from dropping the 30 I said I would drop. I don’t foresee this, I’ve done it before, I so I talk about losing the 30 as if I know it. If I lose a foot in a land mine incident, I’ll keep you posted. Although in terms of dropping the 30, losing a leg might be the way to go.”
“Ok I’m sorry for probing. Continue.”
Thank you.
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